November 2016 Day 17

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Hello! So, let’s start off with a Public Service Announcement. ZOE IS IN PAIN. Also, Zoe has taken some painkillers that kind of make her stupid. Zoe also received TWO bilateral cortisone shots in her back today and they hurt like a…well…I am not going to swear and curse and offend anyone…let us just image all those bad words you would get your mouth washed out with soap for. ~nods~

In addition, no NaNoWriMo word count thus far. I tried writing before I left for the doctor’s appointment, but the pain was just too bad and I was cold. Like, freezing cold.

Excuses, excuses, I know. ~hangs head in shame~

So, on to BlogHer Blog a Day….

Today’s BlogHer prompt:
Nov. 17: What is the hardest lesson you’ve learned from having pets? 

Pets are like toddlers, nothing on the lower shelves are safe. My cats are like so many you see on the YouTube videos of cats looking owners directly in the eye and knocking something over, pleased as punch at the shattering noise they’ve managed to make.

I have also learned that, for me, losing a beloved pet is like losing a child. My child was grown, my Fat Cat was a therapy animal. We bonded immediately. She guarded me…viciously. She was known to even chase my own daughter down the hall to keep her away from me. If you did not have her permission, Fat Cat did not think you needed to be near me.

Very overprotective cat, very aware of my moods and movements, able to soothe me like no one else ever. She was utterly perfect…and then she got bit by that dog, developed an internal wound, underwent surgery to try to correct it, had a feeding tube inserted so I could tend to her myself in the comforts of her own home…and she lost her battle in the end. My world instantaneously shattered.

When I got my other cats, Fat Cats toys and clothes were put away, and the new terrors received their own toys…tried the clothes, none of them like them like Fat Cat did.

I had Fat Cat cremated. I wear a silver paw print pendant around my neck, only taking it off when going into the water such as swimming or showering…it contains a bit of Fat Cats ashes. In addition, I have a beautiful urn for Fat Cat that sits right up here in the cubby on the top hutch of my desk so that she is always looking down on me.

So, I am a little morbid. Yeah, I know I am. I have two little shines dedicated to Fat Cat. That was my baby, and she had to move on.

On a happier note, I believe my little ‘forever kitten’ BaxterMarie is channeling Fat Cat in some ways. Wow, does she do a lot of the naughtier things Fat Cat used to do.

Quinney is the sweetheart of the three. She talks back…to the point of it becoming an argument. However, she is so cute and fluffy and knows how to work that angle; she gets away with murder.

Then there is Jeffrey Jones. Big cat. You would think he was the dominant one of the house….ooohh nooo…not Jeff. Most timid thing ever. But also so utterly adorable.

Put the three cats together in playtime or after a little hit of catnip and you would swear it was like the NasCar of the cat world up in this house. Zoom, zoom, zoom. Well, maybe not that so much. It’s really surprising how three cats can sound like a trampling herd of buffalo sometimes.

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Well, it’s time for me to nap away some of this pain.
Be sweet, my lovelies!

One Year Ago: The day my heart shatttered

ChesterAnn Cuteness

One year ago today my heart broken into a million pieces.

The loss of my Fat Cat – ChesterAnn – devastated me. The vet had worked weeks to try to pull her through, but in the end, she passed away.

My office has become quite the shrine to her memory. And even with getting 3 new cats, there is a void that she left behind.

ChesterAnn was like no other cat I have ever had. There will be no other cat with her distinct personality…and personality she had in loads.

So today I’ll mope around, look through pictures, talk to the other cats about her. I’ll snivel a little. Okay, maybe a lot.

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A few days away

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Hello my darlings!
Well, much excitement is ahead for the wonderful world of Zoe.
And, well, that is why I must tell you that I will be absent from the web for a bit.
You see, my older sister is getting married and is arriving here tomorrow for the remainder of the week and weekend. We have less than a month to get her wedding organized, and she and I are the only family we have living here state-side. Sadly, my folks and little sister and her family, and my little brother and his huge family, wont be able to come to the States for the wedding, so I want to make sure my big sis has my full attention.
Now, along with making plans and whatnot, there will be shenanagans to be had. We are terrible when together. 
Mass quantities of coffee are consumed throughout the day, then some damn fool says “Hey, we need alcohol.” ~looks guilty~
I will morn her passing as a single woman, and drink many libations in this sorrow.
Did I mention she is having an outdoor wedding, on the beach? Can we say nightmare waiting to be had? She and her fiance have a boat, but a friend is ferrying the rest of the guests to the island on his pontoone boat. We have to go find suibable decorations for that thing without making it look gaudy.
And my sister is a teeny wisp of a thing. We have to get her dress altered.
She wants me to put subtle highlights in her hair. Thats a snap. I’ve been doing that for her since we were teens.
There are so many things. Oh, and after the wedding, she is flying down to Guatemala to see the folks and little sister, so we have to purchase items for my momma that they cant get down there.
My family living in a progressing country is strange. They cant get hold of items we take for granted every day at the local supermarket. I had to purchase like six small cans of simple pumpkin pie spice for making homemade pumpkin pie, and packets of instant white gravy mix. Certain kinds of soap. Spices that arent available there. Toiletries that cant be found there at all.
So, after the wedding my sister will take all my moms needed things to her and they will get a post wedding visit.
My moms is planning a trip here in 2017, with luck.
But, back on topic…I will be disappearing for a bit, to help my sister in her joyous ~mourns~ day. >_>
Thank the stars I’m so awesome. I dont think anyone else could tolerate me but me.

See you soon darlings!

What a day…movies abound none the less!

Wow, what a day I’ve had. Mentally exhausting. Well, most of that in the last hour. Yes, I sat here for the last hour pouring over pictures of Fat Cat and completely bawling my eyes out and snotting everywhere. To say I’m a hot mess is an understandment. ~shivers at the thought of looking in a mirror~

Little Man Jeffrey had his first vet appointment today. He got his vaccinations and tests, and was a dapper little fellow for Dr Carter.

I broke my daughters computer. Well, nothing that isnt fixable, I’ve been working on it all day. She’s sleeping now, so it will have to wait until tomorrow to be finished up and she can get on with her online life.

I did manage to fix my own computer, however. I have two drives…DVD and BluRay. Well, I had a bad connection in there somewhere, and a bad cable. I had to fish through there and order the needed pieces. They came in this morning and I got things sorted. Then it was off to destroy my daughters PC!!! All I wanted to do was something she had asked for anyway, which was change a few things, and maybe install Windows 10. Oh, what a mess the whole thing turned into. When I left her to get some sleep, I had just set the machine on resetting itself back to factory settings. Some of it is her own fault. She never does maintenance, never defrags, NEVER updates. GAH!

I am just a tad too OCD about my computer and laptops.

In other news, I still managed to watch some movies. Quite a few actually. I’m a vampire, remember, I never sleep.

I’m only going to list two here tonight.

These two movies caught me COMPLETELY off guard!!! I was expecting average movies. Okay movies. Meh movies.

They both turned out to be pretty fan-frikkin-tastic!

First up:

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The Scribbler
A young woman is facing her destructive multiple personalities using an experimental new procedure known as “The Siamese Burn.”
This movie was amazing to the senses. Visually stunning and well acted. The story-line was so much more than the tiny blurb given for the movie. The realm of psychology and peoples reactions in this film hit home in some ways. I loved it. Recommend, definitely.
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Infini
An elite ‘search and rescue’ team transport onto an off-world mining-facility to rescue Whit Carmichael, the lone survivor of a biological outbreak.
I know, I know, you’re thinking ‘b-movie’, and it just may be, but some big money was spent on it, at least for the special FX. I went in for the ‘biological outbreak’ hook. OH MAN!! I WAS BLOWN AWAY! I LOVE THIS!  And the wonderful thing is, it still leaves you questioning. It still leaves you wondering. HIGHLY recommend. Another mind-bender in the end.
Well, thats tonights wrap up.
I’m pooped. And my face is all puffy.
~sad panda face~

Honoring Fat Cat

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So, today I mustered up a bit of strength to deal with commemorating ChesterAnn. I had gotten some various sized pictures printed out of her right after her death, because I wasnt sure if we were going to get an urn that accomodated a picture or not. Of course, I found and fell in love with the cat shaped white marbled urn.

So, I finally sat down on the floor with all these pictures and frames. I started the project and pretty much started blubbering and snotting. Then I blubbered and snotted more because I bought a few wrong sized frames and I felt

I NEEDED to get this project done. So, I calmed myself, waited for the redness to leave my face, and went to the store for the appropriate sized frames that I needed.

I got home and went to work.

Then came the really hard part.

The Funeral Home had given me two plaster molds of ChesterAnns paw prints, and a lock of her white fur from her body and the dark hair from her tail.

My daughter had given me the suggestion of placing them in a shadowbox. Damn, my kid is smart.

I purchased a shadowbox and black foam boarding about a week ago. The plaster casts hadnt set all the way, but now they were ready.

And I felt I was ready.

I fixed the paw print molds, tied up the fur snippets in a bow, and added one of her most favoritest toys. I also placed her collar at the bottom.

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I think they turned out nicely. Its a bit weighty, so I’m not going to hang it on the wall. I’m going to clear out the cubby above me on my desk next to the cubby with her urn and place a picture of her beside it. I think it will be lovely.

Man, I miss her.

Little Man Jeffrey, whom I have started screeching “Jeffrey H Christ!!!” at lately has been a little booger. He isnt a bad boy, its just the whole kitten thing. Into everything, cant find him and he gives you little mini heart attacks.

When he wants cuddles time though, he is simply a Little Sir.

I doubt I will get my own cat again anytime soon, if at all. This was and is way too hard on me. I honestly am not coping well.

I got a self help book on unexpected loss and grieving.

It is not self helping me.

30 Day Challenge: Day 30!!

30 day challenge
Day 30: Anything you want to post about
Well…I could post about anything, huh? No fear, dear readers, I wont torment you.

Really, lately I’ve just been moping, mourning and grieving the loss of Fat Cat. Its something that will take a long time for me to get over. As a matter of fact, having little man Jeffrey here is a little hard. I hear the jingle of the bell on his collar and expect Fat Cat to talk into the room, meowing and bitching at me for something, and instead I just get the little sir.

I plan on making a shadow box with her ceramic paw print and lock of hair the Funeral home gave me. I was going to put one of her favorite mousy toys in with it. I have all the materials needed, I just cant being myself to do it yet, same with framing and hanging her pictures.
The cat was such a huge part of my life.

I got a new TV monitor for the PC rig. I actually traded with someone. This one is an inch smaller, but what drew me to it was the small display stand. The other one was big and round and really did take up a lot of space when you toss in the keyboard sitting in front if it. This on has the hand tucked neatly under it.

My only main issue with it is the color settings. I cant get the just right. Something I’ll just have to get used to, I suppose. The same thing happened when I got the smaller secondary monitor.

Oh, and we cut a piece out of my desk at the bottom to accomodate all the wires and cords running behind my desk.

The right speaker wire did not survive the saw. Looks like I’ll be buying some new speakers today…lol.

I dont want to leave my house today. I really dont. But I have to take my new truck to the Ford dealership for a few things. My lighter plug is broken, and I need an extra key and clicker fob.  I also found out I need a new catalytic converter. Joy of joys.

When that is all taken care of, I am putting a 2 inch lift kit on the beast, 33″ tires, window guards and all my silly decals.

I went to Best Buy yesterday. Dangerous. I stood there staring at external hard drive. WHY??? I have TWO 1Ts already!!! I did buy three 16GB thumb drives. I tell you, I am obsessed with backing things up.

Its 10am and I’m still sitting in my jammies. I need to correct that and get my arse moving on taking care of things. A friend bought a new vehicle this weekend and I told them I would take them to pick it up this afternoon, so I need to take care of my own things now.

Blarg. I miss my cat.

I’m a sad panda.

30 Day Challenge: Day 29

30 day challenge
Day 29: Picture of yourself
Um…I’m going to take a pass on this one. I forgot about this one.
Its 2am, I just woke up from a little nap, I’m slightly hung over, I TRULY hate my haircut and I have no make-up on.
Seriously, I am hideous as the moment. You dont wanna see this shit. I’ve seen zombies on the Walking Dead that look better than me at the moment. They probably feel better, too. lol.

One Week

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Its been one week since her passing.
It has been devastating. Lonely. Sad. Miserable.
We lost little man Jeffrey one afternoon… he was sleeping someplace we couldnt find him and he decided we just werent the effort to show himself. Typical cat. So, we got him a collar and put a bell on him. He spend an entire day trying to get it off before admitting defeat.
However, I hear that bell rattling around at night when he is off entertaining himself through the house, and oh, man…it just makes me think ChesterAnn is going to cross into the threshold of the office demanding my time.
I also catch myself calling Jeffrey Chester all the time.
I got the things to put together a shadowbox of ChesterAnns paw prints, lock of hair, favorite toy and a picture. I havent been able to will myself to put it all together.
I havent been able to go through her pictures and frame and hang them either.
I find myself toying with the pendant around my neck with some of her ashes in it. I find myself placing little kisses on it. I even catch myself talking to it.
I constantly look up at her urn. I talk to it, too.
You know, when you are grieving and morning and just stuck in so much pain, there is little anyone can do to make you feel better. I have recieved so many kind words from people, and yet this pain and ache is here, constant, seemingly neverending.
All over a cat.
No, not a cat. She was my best friend and confidant. Who bit me on occasion. But hell, what is a loving bond without biting?
You know, I want to get angry. I do get angry over unrelated things. I am extra moody right now, and snap easily. But I guess in a way I want someone to blame for her death. Oh, I could sit here and blame the vet, but you know, I cant bring myself to do it. Why? This man went above and beyond to try to help her. He, and his staff, REALLY care. I have gotten phone calls from some of the nurses and tech just asking how I am doing. How many can say their vet office staff does that for a client? A lot of things are so impersonal these days.
I gathered a bunch of things for Jeffrey. Things of ChesterAnn that I dont mind the little man having. A shit ton of food for one thing. And cat litter. Chesters old litterbox, since its the kind with a cover and flap. Little man Jeffrey was getting litter EVERYWHERE because he thinks he needs to dig to China. So the litter box was very useful and appreciated by my daughter.
However, Little Man Jeffrey hadnt figured out how to use the littler box like that at first. He got in okay, but when it was time to get out, he wasnt bright enough to push his head through the flap and crawl out. He poked a single tiny paw out and meowed for his momma to come rescue him. When my daughter told me that we laughed. Poor little guy. He understands now.
I also had an old pet carrier. ChesterAnn hated it. Its just a cheap one you can pick up at any pet supply store. Her good one, which I spent $60.00 is being kept with her things. I have put all her clothing into it.
Why do I do this? I feel like a mother that wont get rid of old baby clothes as their child grows up, keeping them as possible hand me downs or keepsakes. But I have no intention of giving these things to another cat. They are Chesters.
Okay, crying again. Lawdy do I hate crying. You know, I am not a big drinker of alcohol. I had some beer with raw oysters earlier in the week. That usually gives me my fix for 3-6 months. But I would love a six pack of Corona Extra, some limes and salt right now. Oh, and its only 9AM…but somewhere in the world it isnt!
Yesterday, to try to distract myself, I watched Couchtuner, getting caught up on all my shows that I’ve missed over the last few weeks. And I watched a good movie on Netflix. I plan on writing a small article on it with a review.
I have placed my gaming characters in ‘time-out’, so I dont have to log in and keep them active. They can stay in time out and I dont have to worry about the inactivity limit for deletion.
Well, I think I need more coffee right now. And some tissues.
Blah.
~hugs and squishes~

Bringing Fat Cat home. My broken heart.

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I brought Fat Cat home.

Her urn is resting in a cubby in my desk above my head so she can always be looking down her nose at me. Thats an attempt at humor.

The funeral home was amazing. The people, I mean. So caring, thoughful and considerate.

So, of course I was not handling this well last night.

My answer: I needed raw oysters and Corona with lime and salt, STAT.

I went to the local oyster bar, well, the best one, and had a six pack of Corona Extra with plenty of limes and salt, and I ordered a dozen and a half of oyster, but when it came down to it, I was only able to eat a dozen. Thankfully someone else was there, and the daughter was there, so nothing went to waste.

And no worries, I did not drive…I drove there, but someone else came with the daughter and she was able to drive me home in my truck.

We talked about Fat Cat, and funny things, and at one point I was spewing beer everywhere in a fit of laughter and giggles.

Our waitress was amazing, but she always is. She’s the daughter of the owner, and just a real sweet, down to earth girl with a sense of humor that just falls in line with mine.

As a side note, Little Man Jeffrey has been a huge pain in the ass lately for the simple fact we can never find where he sneaks off to. My answer: Put a color and bell on him! I found one of Fat Cats old collars and put a bell on it. Its blue, so its perfect for the Little Sir.

Oh, Em, Gee. Put the color on him and he gets to moving around and the bell is jingling. He certainly opposed that. He has tried repeatedly to remove it. It. Is. Hilarious. The poor boy is like ‘what sorcery is this!’.

I still hate my super short hair, but eh, I dont have the money for a wig…lol.

I miss my cat. I sometimes think I catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye. Sometimes I call Jeffrey Chester on accident. Especially when he’s in trouble.

The is a void. A big one.

But dont you all worry I’m going to turn into some big lush or something. My little love affair with the Corona was a limited time thing. Like a one night stand. >>

I honestly only indulge in alcohol once every three month, at most. Coffee is my drug of choice…lol.
Well, I wanted you all to see ChesterAnns urn. The lighting behind it was from a different thing I had there, and kept the lighting because it added something to the look of the urn.

Well, I dont want to cry. Its too early for that shit. I’ll have a headache all day if I blubber now.

Be well, and love your four legged babies. (or six or eight if your one of those weirdos who keeps insects as pets. Nothing against you, but…ew.)

~Loves and squishes my darlings~

Day 3 without Fat Cat: Bittersweet

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Well, today was the day to go to the Funeral Home and choose ChesterAnn’s urn. She hadnt been cremated yet, so they allowed me to see her one last time. Of course I blubbered the entire time.
I chose a beautiful urn for her, as well as a small pendant that they put a little of her ashes into. Morbid, I know, but I want a part of her with me always.
I cant seem to stress enough to people what that silly old cat meant to me. She was my best friend, my child, my confidante. Its true, my world really did revolve around her.
The Funeral Home is also making me a plaster cast of her front paw prints.
I’ll be able to pick her up tomorrow morning some time.
Once I left and managed to stop snotting everywhere, I went and got my new truck. Well, not new new, but new for me. Its another Ford Expedition Eddie Bauer, same avacado green as my last, only this is a newer model. There are some major differences in the interior I have to get used to. It drives like a dream though.
Of course, the first thing I had to do was ‘make it mine’. I got Mossy Oak seat covers and floor mats (why, yes, I am a redneck), a steering wheel cover, a cool set of skull dog tag air fresheners…and I ordered a shit ton of zombie apparell for the truck from Amazon.
I discovered much to my delight that the CD player in the truck holds 6 CDs. It only has one slot, so I thought it only took one. My last Expedition had a six pack changer…a little square box that you loaded 6 CDs into and popped it into a thing in the center console.
And the center console…zomg…I have so much space in there! The first thing my daughter said was ‘we could put a human head in there!’
Okay, to explain that, when my daughter and I size things, like boxes and such, we judge by what size of a human head will fit. We openly do this. Trust me, you will get some mighty strange looks in the middle of the Post Office when deciding on what size PO Box you will need and then reducing it to ‘holy cow, you can fit two heads, or maybe even a whole toddler, into that box!’.
Yeah, people dont get our brand of humor much.
I have a thumb drive full of Fat Cat pictures, and this evening I bought a bunch of varying size frames.
Yes, there will be a shrine.
I know, I’m pitiful.
Oh, and I still hate that I cut all my hair off.
~sighs~
 
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Well, I have a busy day tomorrow. More weeping, whining, blubbering, sobbing, snotting and moping. And then I have to get my truck registered and get tags. I think I’ll get a custom tag…I just need to think of something that no one else in the state of Alabama has thought of. Bleh. >:[
~hugs to my squishes~